Monday, May 30, 2005
What Makes You Think....
To my neighbors:
What Makes You Think it's ok to let your kid set off smoke bombs in the street? It pollutes the air and scorches the sidewalk. If your kid likes to look at pretty colors, put the damn yule log on TV and park him there.
What Makes You Think I like hearing your incessant honking? When you want to get your lazy kids out of the house and into the car, get off your fat ass and pull them out by their hair. Same goes for those teenagers who are too busy on their cellphones to go up to the door and knock. Honking is NOT a replacement for knocking!
What Makes You Think it's ok to ride your little mini motorcycle up and down and up and down the street at 11 o'clock at night? Find a track, or at least a deserted area. I have to pause my TV every damn time you go past my house because your silly little toy drowns out anything inside my house. The only upside to your being on my street is maybe someone will run you over and put us all out of our misery.
What Makes You Think you can build a dog shed for your yippie little muts right outside our bedroom window? We already have to listen to the mini monsters bark their brains out every time the wind blows. But now they do it 15 feet from me?
One for the future: What Makes You Think it's ok to set of fireworks for a whole damn week around the 4th of July? The holiday is ONE DAY. And ps - the rocket debris in my yard is disgusting.
To LA Drivers:
What Makes You Think you have the brain capacity to talk on your phone AND drive at the same time? You don't. As a result, I have to watch you weave, slow down for no reason, not use your turn signal, and generally piss everyone off around you. Get a headset!
What Makes You Think tailgating me makes me go faster? It actually makes me go slower just to see how long it will take you to switch lanes and get out of my world.
To Movie Theater Patrons:
What Makes You Think you can talk through the film? This is not your living room. I can hear you. And you're an idiot. Do us all a favor and get a home theater system and some NetFlix.
What Makes You Think you can kick the back of my chair all night? Do you have Tourettes in your leg? Don't make me turn around and shoot you a look of death.
What Makes You Think it's ok to let your kid set off smoke bombs in the street? It pollutes the air and scorches the sidewalk. If your kid likes to look at pretty colors, put the damn yule log on TV and park him there.
What Makes You Think I like hearing your incessant honking? When you want to get your lazy kids out of the house and into the car, get off your fat ass and pull them out by their hair. Same goes for those teenagers who are too busy on their cellphones to go up to the door and knock. Honking is NOT a replacement for knocking!
What Makes You Think it's ok to ride your little mini motorcycle up and down and up and down the street at 11 o'clock at night? Find a track, or at least a deserted area. I have to pause my TV every damn time you go past my house because your silly little toy drowns out anything inside my house. The only upside to your being on my street is maybe someone will run you over and put us all out of our misery.
What Makes You Think you can build a dog shed for your yippie little muts right outside our bedroom window? We already have to listen to the mini monsters bark their brains out every time the wind blows. But now they do it 15 feet from me?
One for the future: What Makes You Think it's ok to set of fireworks for a whole damn week around the 4th of July? The holiday is ONE DAY. And ps - the rocket debris in my yard is disgusting.
To LA Drivers:
What Makes You Think you have the brain capacity to talk on your phone AND drive at the same time? You don't. As a result, I have to watch you weave, slow down for no reason, not use your turn signal, and generally piss everyone off around you. Get a headset!
What Makes You Think tailgating me makes me go faster? It actually makes me go slower just to see how long it will take you to switch lanes and get out of my world.
To Movie Theater Patrons:
What Makes You Think you can talk through the film? This is not your living room. I can hear you. And you're an idiot. Do us all a favor and get a home theater system and some NetFlix.
What Makes You Think you can kick the back of my chair all night? Do you have Tourettes in your leg? Don't make me turn around and shoot you a look of death.
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Bolgging - cathartic release or gigantic waste of time?
Hmmmm, not sure yet. But since this period of my life is defined by insane amounts of waiting and not a lot of doing, I might as well do something besides surf the net. If I get stuck in LA this summer I'm going to pick up surfing in self defense. More on my whole "where is my career going" thing later.
You're telling me this works?
After trying waaaay too many username combos, and url addresses, I am live. Yes, my name is Meta. But not Meh tuh, which is being used ad-nauseum these days, but May Tuh. Just thought I'd lead with that.
