Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Guest Blogger - Jackie
My friend Jackie just got back from Korea. She was working on a film that ended up not going, so she hung out with her family, and, apparantly, "Desperate Housewives Korea". Here's one of her dispatches:
I have vaguely fallen in with a group of women here in Seoul that I privately refer to as The Desperate Housewives. They are friends of a friend of mine, and they are all very rich, very well-married, have children, and all are harboring either some terrible secret or some untreated depression. (Psychoanalysis is still a no-no here). They are all older than me by a few years, which gives me a kind of junior status, and since I am from the US and don't know anyone they know, I am considered safe to have around. They treat me like a new pet. It is not unpleasant, just weird.
On numerous occasions they have invited me to dinner followed by a visit to a wine bar and karaoke afterwards. Basically, they drink for 5 or 6 hours straight. And not just beer or wine. Oh no. There is something here called "soju" which is like the Korean national alcohol.
Stronger than sake, but tastes a lot worse. Please, go to your medicine cabinet and uncork a bottle of your finest rubbing alcohol, and we'll drink to your health.
Usually, I try to get away with taking these fake sips, but these girls catch on pretty fast because they always insist on refilling your glass for you, with a flourish, and when it is not empty they do this thing where the entire table makes a toast to you, and everyone waits until you drain the glass. It is terrible. Really, really terrible. I know now that I could never be an alcoholic. And that is because basically, I do not tolerate pain that well, and being an alcoholic involves pain.
I would simply have to lie down and die at a young age.
The Desperate Housewives have invited me to play golf next week, which normally would be anticipated by much joy, but here in Korea there is a catch: golf is an all-day, all-night affair. The schedule, as I understand it, goes something like this:
1. Arise at dawn, play 18 holes.
2. Go to clubhouse, get ready to enter the spa.
3. Shower, receive violent massage from elderly Korean ladies, sit in sauna and talk.
4. Get dressed for dinner.
5. Go to dinner, order expensive food you will only pick at, then start to drink.
6. Drink for 5 hours.
I have been informed that there is no deviation from this schedule. For example, one cannot just play the golf and then leave. Oh no. No, no, no, I was told when I asked. And I must confess, I was torn between the golf obsession the complete dread I have of drinking with these girls. But anyhow, it will make a good story for later.
I have vaguely fallen in with a group of women here in Seoul that I privately refer to as The Desperate Housewives. They are friends of a friend of mine, and they are all very rich, very well-married, have children, and all are harboring either some terrible secret or some untreated depression. (Psychoanalysis is still a no-no here). They are all older than me by a few years, which gives me a kind of junior status, and since I am from the US and don't know anyone they know, I am considered safe to have around. They treat me like a new pet. It is not unpleasant, just weird.
On numerous occasions they have invited me to dinner followed by a visit to a wine bar and karaoke afterwards. Basically, they drink for 5 or 6 hours straight. And not just beer or wine. Oh no. There is something here called "soju" which is like the Korean national alcohol.
Stronger than sake, but tastes a lot worse. Please, go to your medicine cabinet and uncork a bottle of your finest rubbing alcohol, and we'll drink to your health.
Usually, I try to get away with taking these fake sips, but these girls catch on pretty fast because they always insist on refilling your glass for you, with a flourish, and when it is not empty they do this thing where the entire table makes a toast to you, and everyone waits until you drain the glass. It is terrible. Really, really terrible. I know now that I could never be an alcoholic. And that is because basically, I do not tolerate pain that well, and being an alcoholic involves pain.
I would simply have to lie down and die at a young age.
The Desperate Housewives have invited me to play golf next week, which normally would be anticipated by much joy, but here in Korea there is a catch: golf is an all-day, all-night affair. The schedule, as I understand it, goes something like this:
1. Arise at dawn, play 18 holes.
2. Go to clubhouse, get ready to enter the spa.
3. Shower, receive violent massage from elderly Korean ladies, sit in sauna and talk.
4. Get dressed for dinner.
5. Go to dinner, order expensive food you will only pick at, then start to drink.
6. Drink for 5 hours.
I have been informed that there is no deviation from this schedule. For example, one cannot just play the golf and then leave. Oh no. No, no, no, I was told when I asked. And I must confess, I was torn between the golf obsession the complete dread I have of drinking with these girls. But anyhow, it will make a good story for later.
